Back off from Venus, go to Pluto – Season 4 Episode 5 Recap

They’re not your friends!

We open this week with the signature dinging of a tram, in case you’ve forgotten what city we’re in, and the Dark Side catching up over ginger biscuits. Gina is mulling over losing her dad, which has forced her to have some perspective on what’s worth spending time and energy on. Talk turns to the never-ending Gamble v Venus drama, and Venus does a wimpy little bird impression of Gamble, which completely confuses Lydia.

Also begging to be discussed is the epic showdown between Lydia, Jackie, and Janet that we ended last week’s episode on. “What did I say that could have made her that upset?” wonders Lydia, apparently forgetting she told Jackie that her BFF was a back-stabbing gossip. Regardless, she’s clearly troubled that Jackie is so hurt. Venus suggests that they could clear the air at Jackie’s birthday party next week – except, as it turns out, Lydia wasn’t invited! Awkward.

Crystals heal everything

Jackie is still rattled since splitting from Sally’s party, so she seeks solace in Chyka. Having just returned from overseas, Chyka gifts Jax a crystal angel figurine, proving again that she is far too pure for this show. Right off the bat, Chyka knows that it’s Lydia who’s got Jackie so cut up – she firmly believes that Janet would never speak ill of her. Switching gears, Jackie announces that her and Ben are going into the tequila biz, and is meeting with a distiller in Mexico – the perfect opportunity for this season’s cast trip abroad!

Back off from Venus, go to Pluto!

Everyone’s having a fab time at Jackie’s birthday party, sans Lydia. The music’s pumping, the Patron is flowing, and Gamble gives Jackie her very own star – named ‘Shine Shine Shine’, naturally. Jackie takes the opportunity to invite all the girls to Mexico, and everyone is stoked at the idea of a week-long bender gorging on tacos and tequila. “Let’s just drop all this shit!” announces Venus, before immediately proceeding to bring up shit with Gamble. She’s most definitely not over the Alfred Hitchcock photo Gamble sent to their mutual friend. “You’re an idiot,” says Gamble, pointing to her phone. “Look at the ‘LOL’!!” Venus tells Gamble to grow up – she is, after all, older than her.

Woomp, there it is. Gamble shifts gears, pressing Venus about what her husband, His Mysterious Lordship James, actually does for a living. “My husband gives great oral sex, that’s what he does!” retorts Venus. It’s a bizarre rebuttal, but it successfully stops Gamble in her tracks, and she saunters away exclaiming she’s off to masturbate.

You didn’t miss a lot… well, you sorta did

Following the party, Gina goes to visit Lydia, who has taken off her socialite hat for a night and is sulking at home. She suggests that Lydia let go of her spat with Janet and Jackie, and relays that everyone has been invited on the trip to Mexico. Lydia is entirely uninterested in being invited just for the sake of being invited. Gina reiterates that Lydia should try to mend her friendship Jackie, lightly suggesting this shit is getting old. More to the point, Gina really wants Lydia in Mexico with her, whether she has to smuggle her in her suitcase or not.

A trip without baggage

Jackie calls up Lydia to officially extend her an invitation to Mexico. But, it comes with a condition: Lydia has to promise not bring up their fight, and drop the issue for good. She wants to leave the drama on Australian soil, so they can spend the whole trip bonding. Lydia’s not having a bar of it – she thinks the invite is just an empty gesture, and you can forget about dropping their bad blood! The ladies lock horns: even though they both want to move on, neither is willing to be the first to apologise.

Watch the Episode 6 Recap here: