If creative insults are your thing, then episode 10 of RHOS was a cracker! Athena led the charge with a swipe at Victoria that seemed to begin life as a compliment.
“The first time I saw her I actually thought she was a retired tennis player,” Athena said to husband, Panos. Toned or agile, we were thinking. Nope, we were wrong!
Over to the pyjama party where Matty was dreaming of a peaceful product launch, and her ultimate nightmare would have been another trademark Housewives flare-up at her party, but she needn’t have worried. Krissy was distracted by hot waiters in, and even Lisa was having fun, assisted by the same hot waiters and a pair of handcuffs. Take her away and lock her up, please!
So, it was left to Athena to mix things up. She grabbed the mic from Matty and announced to the crowd that she was blessing Matty’s pillows with a tiny little pillow of her own that contained real fragments of the Holy Cross. No, we didn’t dream it, Athena actually said that…
A distinct lack of Housewife biffo at Matty’s do then, which was a shame because a pillow fight would have been gold class viewing. Instead, Lisa and Athena were rallying the troops against Victoria. The ‘you need to be a nicer person’ intervention was on the horizon and it was a grand slam smash that Victoria never saw coming. (Sorry, we’re still going with the ‘Victoria is a tennis player’ thing.)
Before all that, Melissa was petrified in the dead of night as she was being stalked by a deadly beast. No, it wasn’t a rival Housewife baying for her blood, it was a scene from Mel’s killer pig movie.
Over at the Oldfield’s, Lisa and David are working through some of their issues when Lisa reveals that she ducks into the local pub three or four times a week to ‘decompress’. Still, the counselling seemed to be going well. Except maybe the bit when the pair argued about whose idea it was to have counselling in the first place…
Another day, another event, but this time for charity. It’s was Nicole’s turn to have her fingers crossed that the Housewives would behave at her Food Truck Fund. Unfortunately, she didn’t cross her fingers hard enough.
Nicole did an amazing job at pulling together a truly spectacular food festival in Sydney’s Watson’s Bay. She booked Melissa to sing, and one thing that everyone agreed on was that Mel’s singing was pretty damn good. Even Athena gave Mel the seal of approval. “I can see her singing in pubs”. Wait a minute, that might be an insult now we think about it…
At this point, Krissy had taken Victoria to one side and told her that she was disappointed that Victoria had skipped dinner on the last night in Singapore.
Sorry, sorry, let’s hug it out…is what happens in the normal world. In RHOS world Lisa wanted Victoria’s head on a spike or at least a screaming match. She got the latter.
Lisa was determined to drive a wedge between Victoria and Krissy by insisting that the whole intervention thing was Krissy’s idea. If only the girls could see the flashback evidence!
In the end, Victoria didn’t believe a word of it. “Lisa Oldfield lives on another planet. She’s in the fifth dimension with the other idiot.” (No prizes for guessing who that might be).
So, Lisa’s plan had failed. Game, set and match to Victoria and Krissy as a frustrated Lisa resorted to shouting and swearing. However, Lisa did come up with the insult of the episode on Krissy: “The reason Krissy has such a big nose, and she’s had two nose jobs already, is that she’s like Pinocchio, every time she f@#$! lies her nose grows.”
Phew! How are they going to top that one? Well, the clip for next week’s episode shows Athena having “an Oprah moment”, Matty losing the plot… and did someone say cat wedding?
Love your 8th housewife xxxx