Kaboom! We’re officially in shock as episode eight of RHOS finished with a violent Singapore sling of both wine and napkins. Yes, the bumpy flight that’s been Athena and Victoria’s relationship finally crashed into the mountain.
But we’re getting ahead of ourselves. Let’s begin by tracing the overseas aggro back to a couple of key moments on home soil, starting with Athena meditating on a cliff and Lisa accidentally flashing the camera Marilyn Monroe-style. Thank God for pixelation!
Actually, those weren’t the key moments but Lisa filling in Athena on the events at Victoria’s charity/promo night certainly was.
“Sewage is more clean than their mouths and their emotions,” a Confucius-like Athena declared as the full (slightly embellished) story unfolded from Lisa.
Meanwhile, Matty, Krissy and Victoria enjoyed some Polo in the City – well the fashion and champagne part of the posh pony event at least – and we learned that Krissy was hosting a dog walking charity event.
Now, this pooch mooch was crucial as Victoria promised to be there for Krissy, but was a no-show and a large crack started to appear in Krissy and Victoria’s previously solid bond.
Along with Mel, two people that did show up for the doggy treat were Nicole and Athena who hadn’t seen each other since the infamous Diamond Duel moment, and Athena brought along a “treasured book of forgiveness” for Nicole. Aaaah.
So, everyone was feeling warm and fuzzy, which led Mel to utter seven little words to Athena that would change the course of RHOS history: “Would you like to come to Singapore?”
Mel saw it as a last effort to make the girls get along.
To Lisa’s evil lair, where she was deep into marriage counselling. But something was missing from the therapy session. Ah yes, her husband David.
Victoria was also patching up her family and called her long-lost sister in England to arrange a meeting in Singapore. “saw on your Facebook page you have quite a nice boyfriend, have you still got him?” Victoria asked. Hands up if you shouted at the TV to break the uncomfortable silence that followed.
To Singapore! Mel was excited about her fashion shoot with ‘Jatz Crackers’ designer Daniel Boey – and she looked amazing in a giant sheet-like frock adorned with feathers. Cassowary chic anyone?
Then darkness descended, in more ways than one. The venue for drinks was a-mazing and the toast was “to peace” – cheers! Which lasted about as long as Krissy’s glass of champagne.
Krissy and Athena had a little bonding moment but then someone (Athena) dropped the P-word (pendant aka Levendi necklace) and the gloves came off. “That woman needs a stop button,” Matty said of Athena. But Athena only has ‘fast-forward’ and ‘super angry’ buttons as she rattled off everything that was wrong with Victoria and her “black soul” after Victoria dragged the Levendi name through the mud.
Krissy kinda sided with Athena this time, and for her part in the most explosive war in RHOS’ short history, Victoria stuck to four-word assaults. “Don’t poke the bear”, “We are not friends” and she finished up with “You are an idiot!”. Oh, and Victoria upped the ante with an assault with a deadly napkin, and Athena countered with a nuclear white wine attack.
Victoria stormed out, Krissy was mortified, Nicole freaked out, and poor Singapore was rocked to the core after some savage Sydney biffo.
Wow. Where do the girls go from here? Well, Victoria’s sister is on her way to Singapore and will be keen to meet some of her sibling’s nearest and dearest chums… Welcome to the family, Lucy, try not to get caught in the cross-fire!
Love from your 8th housewife xox